3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
