I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
