3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
