Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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