This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
3 2 1 whiskey
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
