just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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