pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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