You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
