In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
