K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
