Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
