don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
