Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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