This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
