last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
