called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
