Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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