So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
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We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
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At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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