Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
