On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
