As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
