'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
