I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize
