Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
