you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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