oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Say something about gay babies.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Randomize
