I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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