Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
