What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
