Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
