I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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