im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
