so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
