I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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