well you can't waste a boner
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize