awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
