I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
