I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
