what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
