My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
