i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
