Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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