She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I cut my penus on the lid.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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