My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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