i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Say something about gay babies.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
