There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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