I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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