so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
