Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
