Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
