So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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