My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
