I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
