I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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