There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
