Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i drank out of a bidet.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
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