Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
