it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize