Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
