True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
love makes seman taste better
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
