It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize