He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize