South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize