how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
