R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
