Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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