some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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