yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
