I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
